What is living for yourself? I know that for many years I was focused on the expectations, wants, and needs of others. It was fulfilling in a way but also exhausting, and I was burning out. I think that a lot of people deal with this issue whether you’re a parent, focused on your career, on your partner, trying to live up to familial expectations, or all of these things at once. Where does that leave us? It leaves us feeling guilty when we take time for ourselves, when we prioritize our health, when we practice self-care. It’s an unsustainable cycle. How do we start to prioritize our own well-being?
First, we look at what’s lacking in our lives. What are the things that we’ve been putting on the back burner for weeks, months, or even years? Maybe it’s hobbies, finding a different job, spending time with friends, or maybe you have been doing this so long that you don’t even know what you need. I think that the real question here is: Are you able to be yourself? Or are you hiding or pushing yourself away because of expectations placed upon you?
Next, we look at our barriers. What is stopping us? Is it that we have a difficult time saying no to people? Do we feel that no one else will step up if we don’t? Do we feel responsible for things that aren’t our responsibility? Are there feelings of shame or guilt that crop up and force us back into unhealthy habits?
You might’ve tried self-help books, podcasts, journals, and planners. Those probably worked, for at least a little while. But now, you’re back and trying to find something new that will work. I’m not gonna lie to you. Healing is hard. Changing patterns that we’ve been in for years is difficult. But, finding balance, healing, and allowing yourself to be the authentic version of yourself is achievable.
You might be feeling a little overwhelmed with all of the questions that I threw at you earlier. That’s okay. I don’t think anyone should expect us to have all the answers, but starting to learn and understand the answers is one of the first steps to change. I truly think that one of the best places to start is in therapy, where you have a relaxing space and a friendly non-judgmental guide to help. If any of this resonates with you, I would love to work with you, so please reach out so that we can get you scheduled for a first session or a free consult.
